My dad had been ill for a long time. He was a farmer struggling to support his family. Mom worked part time for a butcher and also did house cleaning. Dad was frequently hospitalized for long periods including a spring when he missed the planting season. A neighbour’s young son kindly planted the crops with my uncle. Bills from the seed supplier, the farm mortgage, his doctors and the hospital, were accumulating. OHIP didn’t exist in 1958. Something had to change.
Mom decided that she needed to further her education as she knew she wouldn’t be able to earn enough money to keep the family going. After many sleepless nights she decided to move 60 miles away to London to attend teachers college. Tuition was free in those days. My sister and I were moving with her. This left my 13-year-old brother home on the farm with Dad. Weekends we’d be back home, the family together again.
Mom rented a room in a house in London. Three weeks later we were kicked out after my 10-year-old sister punched the landlady’s teenage son in the nose after he made a rude comment. That added to Mom’s stress as she had to quickly find somewhere for us to live within our very tight budget. The new place was a small room with two beds and a tiny kitchen shared with an older lady. It felt homey for our weeknights away.
I know that the year was an incredible struggle with much anxiety over Dad’s health, finances and being away from home. My parents taught us independence and to never give up. We learned to work for what we wanted and to make the sacrifices needed to achieve our goals. My sister and I often discussed our admiration for Mom and how she taught us to be strong. During those times when the world seemed to be crashing upon us, we would remind ourselves that “I’m Bette’s kid. I can do this!”
Mom became an alcoholic years after Dad’s death. She recovered from both alcohol and cigarette addictions in her later years, quitting each only once. Jeeze, who does that?
Now at 102 only a shell of this formidable woman remains. You’ve got to be tough just to make it that far. Mom, you have my deepest gratitude for showing me the way!
Joanne Kane