Laurie Snider
Notes from the Nest
“Is it hot enough for ya?” the good-natured soul at the check-out line clucked as I loaded my bags of ice and hamburger buns onto the counter top. I dabbed the drops of perspiration, trickling down my brow into my eyes, which stung on contact, kind of like swimming in a salt-water pool with my eyes open.
“For sure!” was the only half-hearted response I could muster, as the oppressive heat and humidity made me lethargic and my thought processes somewhat thick and sludgy.
“Heh, Heh!”, he continued, “Its so dang hot out, I just saw a hound dog chasing a rabbit… and they were both walking.” At this, he nearly doubled over, entirely amused with his own quick wit. “Hah. That’s a good one.” I politely responded, as another droplet of salty sweat, connected with my eyeball.
The most genial, courteous way I can think of to frame things at the moment is, “Its hotter out than H-e- double-toothpicks!” We’re currently about four days into a brutal, record shattering, totally uncivilized heat-wave. I find each activity requires strenuous exertion, with arduous amounts of energy spent. I even feel the strain, pounding out this latest “Note from the Nest.” My fingers feel puffy, swollen, clumsy and clammy. My fingertips sticking to the keys, requiring more corrections for spelling and grammatical mistakes than usual.
If you happen to think that our summers are hotter than they used to be, then the good news is you are right. But the bad news is, you are right! According to the NASA Goddard Institute, hotter summers in the Northern Hemisphere are the new norm. Ugh!
Between 2005 and 2015, two-thirds of temperature values were considered hot, while an astounding 15 per cent were in an entirely new category: extremely hot! Extraordinarily hot summers, such as we have been experiencing and are now considered commonplace, were virtually unheard of in the mid-1950s. Good gracious! Is it any wonder my skin feels so moist and dewy?
In ancient Rome when it got a wee bit toasty outside, wealthy citizens took advantage of their amazing system of aqueducts, to circulate cool water through their homes. A primitive solution for air-conditioning.
The Roman Emperor Elagabalus, who ruled from 218-222, had snow shipped from the mountains via donkey-train, to his villa, in an effort to keep cool in summer. I’m fairly certain that Seneca, the Roman philosopher, (who actually said many noteworthy things), would have disapproved though, as he mocked, “the skinny youths who ate snow to keep cool, rather than bearing the heat like a real Roman.”
In 3000 B.C., some of the earliest examples of fans were used by the Greeks and Romans. The first ones to arrive in Europe, came via traders coming back from China and Japan. They were extravagant fixed fans made from ivory, mother of pearl, gold and silver. It wasn’t until the 18th Century, that printed, folded fans became more widely available.
Although there were earlier examples of rotating fans powered by man, bellows, hydraulics and steam, the first examples of electric fans didn’t arrive until the 1880s. After Nikola Tesla developed the alternating current, oscillating fans were invented. By the 1920s they were commonplace in most homes, until the 1960s, when window and central-air conditioning units became more prevalent.
The first air-conditioning system was invented in 1902, by a 25-year-old American engineer named Willis Carrier. It wasn’t used for people though. It was used to cool a printing plant, where he worked. He continued inventing and debuted his first air conditioning system for people, at the Rivoli Theatre, in Times Square, eventually expanding to rail cars, stores and offices.
In 1965, fewer than 10 per cent of American homes had air. That number has now jumped, to over 80. As of 2009, 49 per cent of Canadian homes had it. Although with the increasingly hot summers, I’m sure we’ve inched our way up, well past that.
Of course, air conditioners are energy hogs and best to be used sparingly, but I suppose we’re blessed to have them. Randy and I have even taken the plunge ourselves and have two small portable units, as I seem unable to tolerate excessive, middle-aged diaphoresis, especially at night, and remain sane! The alternatives, as in days past, would be to sleep on the porch and put our underwear in the icebox! Heavens! That sounds drastic!
So, until this latest steamy, sweltering weather decides to leave, I guess I’ll just have to grin and bear it. Cold cloth on my forehead, iced tea in my hand, splayed before a fan, I may not look my best, but I’ll do my best. As Jane Austen said, “What dreadful hot weather we have. It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance!” Ah! Inelegance, indeed!